I switched to menstrual cup for my periods

Fallopian tubes. Yep. That's all I remember about the female reproductive system from whatever I learned in school. And I am pretty sure that it's because I wanted to make sure I spelled it right. I am not good at spellings and often find it frustrating to deal with them. But that's a revelation for another day. This blog post is about menstruation - about menstrual cups, to be more specific. 

It has been a little over two months since I got one for myself and it has been a year since I thought of getting one. I took my sweet time deciding on this one. I'd probably have waited longer to get one had Kanchan not taken the leap and got one for herself. Once I had the menstrual cup gently packaged and delivered at my doorstep, I restarted my research about menstrual cups. 

In over 20 blogs I read and the same amount of videos I watched, many shared the exact same thing - fold the cup in a certain way, make sure that you are relaxed and comfortable. I even scrolled through the comment section diligently and even stumbled upon Twitter threads about females switching between pads, tampons, and menstrual cups. I found myself relating easily with all the looming confusion and curiosity surrounding the menstrual cup. The environment-conscious reason behind the decision resonated heavily with me and so did the financial ease. I didn't expect it but a simple calculation of my financial expenses for my periods spanning over the last decade gave me an extra nudge too.

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On the first day of my cycle with the menstrual cup, I was on a video call with Kanchan well after 10PM. Even after all the research, all the instructional videos that I watched, I was in need of every moral support I could get. I did everything that the blogs told me while constantly questioning my limited knowledge about my own body. It felt so alien to me having to navigate through my own body and mind. Everyone said I need to calm down and let my muscles be loose. But even after every song I switched through my playlist I couldn't help but feel anxious and pressured. Kanchan asked me to control my breathing, "Your muscles should relax," she said. I was tired and desperate and really wanted to be done with it quickly. But I ended up spending around two hours on my bathroom floor just questioning my self-awareness. I have been with myself the longest and yet I couldn't think of a single thing that would help me relax and ease my muscles? I had better things to do at midnight, like sleeping, at midnight rather than feeling so lost and confused about myself. 

That first night I ended up settling for what was a very questionable positioning of my menstrual cup and convinced myself to fall asleep - that it would be okay tomorrow. I was cautious of course, so I wore a sanitary pad too. The next morning I was up at 4 and minutes later, I had to experience a bloodbath courtesy of my failed attempt at pulling the cup out correctly. Several hours later, I was back on YouTube trying to learn about what exactly was I doing incorrectly. And to my horror, I saw a short clip of a woman saying "You just gotta shove it right up. You gotta let it sit in deep you. Just push it straight up." All other tutorials were telling me I had to insert the cup at a certain angle (towards our tail bone) and here she was yelling at the camera like that. hence, my first cycle with the menstrual cup felt too foreign and was also pretty uncomfortable, to be very honest. 

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A month later, I still had no practice with my cup and was still pretty hung up on my first experience. I was expecting to fail in putting in my cup. I kept thinking about all the videos and blogs - ready to convince myself that I had a low cervix and that my cup size was what was wrong not my method. One last attempt was well deserved and that is what I had in mind as I attempted to insert the cup that day. The first few tries were failed attempts - one time. the cup popped open too soon; in another, the fold wasn't correct. But I was patient with my body. In the next attempt, I succeeded! I didn't even realize what I was doing, but the cup was inside me resting snugly against the walls of my vagina. I was dumbfounded! All the times before this, I was so focused on my hold on the cup, my position, the angle I needed, and yet I failed terribly. And here, this fine morning, I easily slid in the cup without much restriction. 

My first few steps outside the washroom were tentative. I was afraid it would affect the position of my cup. But to my surprise, I could stand up and walk briskly with ease! If I wasn't the one who put the cup inside my vagina, I probably wouldn't even know it was inside me. Yep, no exaggeration here. This was my first success in the battle against my vagina in introducing a foreign object inside me. But I was a clueless soldier with no strategy. I didn't know HOW I managed to put the cup inside me correctly. I was a little selfish when I decided that the worry was for me to handle 12 hours later only. 

My second-period cycle with the cup was very tentative. I was doing things right without even knowing how. But I worried at night before bedtime. I texted my friend Garima asking her "What if my vagina sucks it right in while I am sleeping? Now that it is inside me resting so well, how do I even pull it out? What if it gets stuck in there?" All my worries were genuine but naive. The only sensible answer to these questions was that they wouldn't happen. "There is no more space for the cup to move in inside you! Where would it go?" was what Garima told me. And that was really the only explanation I needed to convince myself that it was safe to go to sleep. 

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Now in my third month, I am pretty confident and comfortable with my menstrual cup. I had to be very patient with my body to learn how to do this right. No amount of videos would have helped me learn how to do this right if I wasn't that patient. If you are you are curious about how you are supposed to insert a cup inside your vagina and that's the only question that's stopping you from switching to menstrual cups, take the leap and get one for yourself and try.  And if you have any questions, please feel free to reach out to me, I will be here to support you if you are willing to try it. 

Everyone's journey will be different. My friend got it right in her first attempt while I was having a mental breakdown in my first trial. But I was willing to learn and to change. And now, I couldn't be happier about making this decision to switch to a greener alternative for my periods.