Whispers and wishes

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A tungsten-lit square room that barely fits a bed and a table, and yet holds a lifetime worth of dreams. Little purple flowers bloom right outside the door. I watched the lights go out right before the crack of dawn. It was quiet. I lay awake holding on to my cup of tea - that runs colder than water.


~




x

I wish I could sing to you, a song of self-love and bravery, like it's my favorite tale of all times. I wish I could send you a string of letters, each signed with quotes I have saved on my Pinterest boards. I wish I could show you the threads I have bookmarked on Twitter, each a momento of days for when I felt a little more alive. I wish I could I ask you to come in and see my plants, pet them a little and ask me about tea. I wish I could walk with you into the city and listen to your stories. The box you live in doesn't feel like home, you say. You have had a life before this, I'm sure. 

I wish I could let our fingers brush as the night fell, I'd hold on to the nook of your elbow and ask you to slow down when your strides quickened. I wish I could ask you to randomly sit down on the floor with me, because I love how the city looks when you watch it from there. I wish I could tell you about the time my dog left paw prints all over my favorite dress, back when I was 12. I wish I could hear you chuckle and tell me about how your dog once dragged home a strewn football, twice it's own size. 

I wish I could watch the stars with you, trace familiar patterns on your skin, just to memorize you. I wish I could tell you about the time I left home at the crack of dawn just to look for some plants for a science project. I wish I could let you listen to my heartbeat race up once I have downed two extra drinks of a liquor that burns the back of my throat. I wish I could race up a hill with you just to catch the final few rays of the sundown. I wish I could I could tell you how beautiful and golden you look when you talk about your dreams. 


~


"You look beautiful," I whisper as I cave in to the lull silence. 

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