Like a little pretty rose

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After multiple weeks spent outdoors in the wild, trying to lose parts of her and scar new skin, she has now weakened. Now, the sun is too harsh on her eyes and her feet hurt from walking too much everyday. But there's a deeper pain than that.

Her mind has been wheezing with ideas and thoughts that ache her heart so much that she can't look away from it. It's a mess of all things she thought she could fix, things she thought she could build. But now she has been in bed for over 12 hours straight and she doesn't even feel rested. Hey, but wait, her heart isn't just a mess - it's her. It's her yesterday, her today, her tomorrow that she carries around in the 4 chambers. She doubts that they know that.

Maybe this is the price she has to pay for trying to hard to do too much at once without ever really sparing a breath for herself. Maybe this is what it will cost her for clinging on to feelings, to people who are distant, whom she can't really approach, who wouldn't even notice her absence when she isn't around. Maybe this is what she has to go through as she suffers so much and also notices that if she were to lose touch with them today, they wouldn't even bother. 
Maybe this is what she is. A rose in a vase, swimming in ugly water barely even trying to stay alive. Now she lies bleeding through her petals and they are not even thinking that the rose is going to wither away.


#notes #notesfrominstagram

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