Fleeting

"Life is like a bowl of ice cream. Enjoy it before it melts."

***

I am at Putalisadak right now- in a dairy/ café, typing furiously on my cell phone as my double scoop ice-cream (in a bowl) melts away. Like everyday, I have 50 thousand thoughts running circles inside my head. If you count those that were in my head as I walked here from Gyaneswor, the count would be even higher. 

Even as I am typing, I am thinking of my mum back home- wondering what she'll cook for dinner. I am thinking of my best friend who is days away from coming home. I am also keeping count of how many days I have till my Board exams begin. I am also thinking of going all the way back to work so that I can wait a little longer there and maybe come here some other day... I am thinking about people, about goodbyes, about little infinities, about the sunset, about long walks home, about what the current song on my playlist is trying to say, about the phone calls I didn't answer this morning, about the messages that never came... There is just too much. 

Aren't you ever overwhelmed by the amount of thinking that you do in a moment? There is always a list of things that need to be taken care of and I am never happy about the 24 hours I get everyday. 

I keep hearing and saying how it is important to live in the moment. But even I want some moments to last forever, some friendships to sail forever, some sunsets to color the sky forever, some bus rides to keep going without a speed bump forever, some people to keep warming my heart forever... But this doesn't happen, does it? Friendships keep leaving scars and wounds that aren't forgettable. The sunset is always momentary- the color slips away everyday, the horizon darkens with every slipping second. The bus keeps hitting on the brakes- there is always someone else who is in a greater hurry, the potholes aren't ever filled. People keep leaving- they don't stay, there's always some place better to be at, some one better to be with. These moments keep slipping away like the sand escaping through my fingers. They keep slipping. The ice keeps melting. 

But maybe, just maybe, these fleeting moments are what I wake up for everyday. Maybe, this is also the reason why I am attached easily to the temporary- people, things, feelings... Maybe, just maybe.

"Ice cream katti paglisakyo!" the sweet Didi at the counter smiles at me. I return a small smile back to her and look at my bowl of half melted ice cream. In my head, I am still thinking- "I wouldn't have had this any other way." 

And later in the evening, as I watch the Sun go down painting the sky in the colors of love, making her blush as she makes way for the night, I again find myself smiling at the fleeting, beautiful moment. And deep inside, I know that this moment is what I will be looking forward to tomorrow morning, when I leave home, as the Sun slowly starts to take away the soft moon beam.