as i move through

प्रत्येक पाईला भासिंदैछ अघि बढूं कसरी ? हरेक आवाज बिलाउँदैछ सबै कुरा भनूँ कसरी ? आँट बटुलेर अघि सर्दा आँशु बनी झर्छ किन ? ज्योति बनी डोर्याउनेहरु मोड-मोडमा हराउंछन् किन ? आफू आफैसँग भागिरहेछु थाहा छैन किन । गन्तव्य खै कहाँ हो थाहा छैन किन । शब्द कोरेर सम्हालिन खोज्दा अझै लर्बराउँछु । आशा लिएर उठ्न खोज्दा अझै पछारिन्छु । जिन्दगी यस्तै हो भनी किन भन्छन् सबै  ? बाटो अप्ठ्यारो छ  भनी पछि किन सार्छन्  सबै ? साथी कोही हुन्नन् भो नजाऊ भन्छन् किन ? एक्लै आएथेँ म, एक्लै जानु  छ , स्वतन्त्र  उड्न देऊ । आकाश छुन नसकेपनि धर्तीमै केही गर्नेछु । बाटो आफै बनाउंदै छु , छैन भनी नपन्छाऊ न । पाइला सानै होलान् , आँट थोरै होला, तर म गर्छु र म बन्छु।

I wonder how you put on that brave face. 'How did you get that scar?,' I ask. I wonder how you ward off the trickiest of questions. 'How have you been all this time?,' I ask. Months back, on my birthday, we last met. And then I didn't see you,you didn't see me. We have both grown up and apart since then. Separate paths taken, several scars earned. Inevitable the change is, I admit. Unimaginable the outcomes become, I noticed. How vast the differences turned out! How huge the distances resulted to be! We both don't know what the future beholds. We both don't know who will be there beside us. It's a journey unknown, on a road less traveled. It's a game on the highest difficulty level with hints disabled. I promise, I will be there somewhere, somehow around you. No, it's not a promise, but a deal to accomplish. In this body or in the spirit, I will be there. For it's a deal and so, I must be there. The scars we have...

अतीतलाई किन यति माया गर्छु या वर्तमानलाइ गर्न किन सक्दिन ? त्यही  हिजोमै रुमलिईरहेको छु म , त्यही  पाना , खै कतिऔं पटक, पढ्दै छु म | थाहा छैन कता कुन डोरीले बाँधेको छ मलाई | थाहा छैन के-कति कारण म त्यहि अल्मलिएको छु | मनास्पटलमा खै के-कस्तो छाप बसेछ ? अतीतलाई त्यसैत्यसै बिर्सिनसक्नु बनाइदिएछ ! हिजोकै सम्झनामा आज बिर्सिरहेछु | भोलिको आशामा आज पन्छाईरहेछु | कति गर्रौं यी निरर्थक प्रयाश ? कति दोहोराऊं उही पुरानो गल्ती ? सहस बटुल्दै छु म , बाटो त्यसै बिलाउँछ | आँट जुटाउदै छु म , साहारा त्यसै हराउँछ  | आहा! कति मिठो थियो त्यो हिजो...| कठै! कति पट्यार लाग्दो बन्दैछ आज...|

I began walking after a huge fall. I began moving after a long pause. I feel everything so new and miraculous. I appreciate the breeze that caresses me with every touch. Yes, I can now feel those warm sunbeams. I can now, literally, learn how to live. I realized how I’d been all through this time. I can now comprehend the reality and the truth it beholds. The wind with every breeze makes me smile. The rain with each drop makes me long to dance. ‘Cause I realized that there is always something better, Something brighter after a rain or storm. It’s the beauty of life that I now see. It’s the treasure of truth that I now keep. Because I've changed, I've evolved, Into a better someone than I was before.