as i move through

There are a lot of things I can be grateful of when I think of the sky. How limitless it is, how open it is... how constant it is. And despite all that, it still manages to float - high up above us.  The sky also makes me want to smile at the most random moments. It reminds me of you, reminds me that I am thankful that despite being far apart, I get to share a part of it with you, somewhere in its vastness. Last night it was pouring outside and I felt grateful for the loneliness, for the quiet, for the moment. I almost felt timeless. I couldn't see a color in the sky but I heard the rain loud and clear. I could smell it too. And if I held out my arm a little, I could hold it too. But I lay still and listened to it for as long as I could.  I wondered if you were listening to it too. I wondered if you had anyone keeping you company. You are not the biggest fan of loud thunderstorms, I know. So I wondered if it was pouring where you are... or was it the same drizzle I had under m...

Sometimes I feel like I could easily give in to the chaos. Succumb to it. Surrender. But never really let go. One of my biggest fears, I have realized, is being forgotten. To be wiped out clean from someone's memory, and their lives without a trace. And it's also not like I have done anything grand or achieved anything great. Not do I have an adventurous life. I’m as mediocre and ordinary as anyone can be. My fear is ironic for me in many ways. I struggle with gaps in my memory. On most days, I sub-consciously remember Baa and his little gestures, Maa and her antics. But I can't put a finger on the details. If I concentrate enough, I can vaguely picture them. But their voices... Oh, their voices become so prominent on some days. It's almost as if I am in the room with them, or they are there on the phone talking about something entirely random and out of the blue. Photographs feel like lies to me. Maybe it's because I have a hard time trying to visualize people and ...