as i move through

Escape is a strong word. Don’t you think? As strong as it is, it is also powerful. I like the idea of escape. When I say that, I do not escape of the problems or the uncomfortable circumstances that life throws at me. I would rather see myself live and grow through them than escape. When I say that I like the idea of escape, I mean to say that I like the idea of getting to escape reality for a moment be it at difficult times or simpler ones. To escape does not have to mean to run away. When I say escape, I mean to acknowledge and see things in a different light than how you perceive it at any given moment. When it’s time for me to walk through busy streets filled with hustling skin and bones, I like the thought of escape. I would rather like to watch myself drift among the bodies walking past me than walk past them myself. There are times when I like to escape reality more often than not just because reality is a little too much overwhelming for me. Given the choice to escape re...

Whenever someone mentions “chiya”, what do you think of or rather who do you think of? Whenever someone mentions “chiya” to me, I think of conversations and people. And as someone who has never really been good with either of them, I could not really ever come to terms with “chiya”. At home, mum has to have three cups of tea before actually starting her day. The first is a strong black tea, followed by a sweet milk tea and finally a milder milk tea. Do not ask me why. Please. Do not. Because, honestly, I don't know. Every time we have an argument over how it is always late for lunch at home, I keep mentioning her early morning tea drinking ritual. A bad strategy, but well, it always becomes my best argument. Moving on, I am now going to tell you why I was a tea-virgin for almost a decade. The tea rituals my mum religiously follows is not hers alone. My dad is her partner in crime. After every sip that they took of their three different varieties of tea, there followed...

When someone asks you about peace, what do you think of? For  me, it is not the silence rather- it’s the sound of the raindrops against my window, it’s the beat of my favorite song, it’s the warmth of Oreo’s fur against my skin, it’s the comfort of food when I am home hungry and tired… It’s in the little things that I get peace. Peace is not really something definite. It’s an abstract for which each human has his/her own definition. Right now, as I am writing this, it is raining outside, a light-continuous drizzle since yesterday, which is giving me peace. But this very rain has been causing havoc elsewhere- degrading the peace. My definition of peace might be your definition of noise and that is alright. To be writing about peace, when my life itself is in a chaotic mess seems like a very, very strange thing to do. But, the rain is helping and I am not in any state to complain. To attain peace is not a mission to be accomplished, rather it is a continuous process. It i...

What is it like to look back and reflect upon who you are and who you used to be? This one thought is running circles inside my head, knocking at my heart, probing and prodding, as I begin to write this. More often than not, as we think of change, we choose to see the heartache, the pain, that made us undergo it. More then than not, we are left thinking about those days and nights we spent curled up in bed. What I think is the most scariest thing in the whole world is the feeling of helplessness- you know it's there, but you can't do anything about it, because you don't know how to bring yourself up.You remember that, too. Those moments of excruciating pain, the weight on your heart, the helplessness. All of it. Whenever you think of change, they are all there- holding hands, standing tall and proud. As a little girl, I have had this notion about giving, towards believing that something good is out there and we just have to have a little faith. I grew up wanting to se...

Between my father's short temper, my mother's never stopping chattering and my brother’s silent nods, I have molded myself. I really believe that we don't grow up with age. It's the experiences and the journey that grows us, not our birthdays that we celebrate every year. Living is more about taking risks, thinking and doing out of the box than merely staying alive. Life offers us several little moments that actually show us what life is about. This past year, two of my best friends moved away to foreign lands to pursue further education. One of them was my neighbor, my childhood sweetheart, who had been with me since grade one, who I could always run to if my day went off or started getting dull. The other was the one who taught me how it actually felt to be held when I was broken, the one I am in love with. Now that they are both a thousand miles apart, I often feel that I never told them enough how much I looked up to them, how much I loved both of them. Them mo...