as i move through

Yellow tungsten lights, squishy pillows, a dash of mint lemonade, the comfort of warm cocoa - does it sound a little okay yet? Okay. Now, let's add in a bunch of people - some you are meeting for the first time, some for the first time in a long time. Is this a little different now? Okay. Now, let's add something to talk about - something that you love doing, something you want to practice and evolve in in the long run, something that you make time for as you lose countless hours of sleep. What does that sound like now? This was Art Pulse Volume 1, today November 27th for me. I put up a story on Instagram weeks back asking people if they wanted to come in and talk about art. A bunch of people reached out to me saying they wanted to come in. A week or two in, more people wanted to join in and I started getting more and more anxious about it. A week before the meetup, I wrote an email to the possible attendees with a little postscript note that I quote - ...

Someone told me that it's the winter nights that are scary, that they trigger sadness, that they make you want to feel needy. Being alone in winter nights was painted as a scary thought.  But what about the mornings? The ones where you switch outfits thinking- "The day will be warmer, should I not wear this jacket?". The ones where you make a list of things you want to do. The ones where you think you'll feel warm enough but your heart is weary and your body is sore. But then on some mornings like that maybe you will get up thinking- "There's a possibility for today to be better."  But winter mornings are colder and darker. Not many houses are awake, the city sleeps in a blanket of fog and there you are waiting on a highway with no streetlight hoping that a bright blue bus will drag you out of your misery. Today I gave in to a cheap thrill based on a whim, a pang of sadness and a full dose of loneliness. That's what a winter morning did to me....