as i move through

Her fingers run over my spine, Trailing the edges, the curves. Lightly. She's scared. Fragile. Her breath enticing senses, I hear her sigh. Softly. She's tired. Broken. Her eyes brimming with tears, Some rolling down her cheeks. Swiftly. She's still. Numb. Her voice catching on her throat Choking her, and she lets it be. Briskly. She's silent. Patient. Her eyes- hazel and bright- watching Never, once, leaving my skin. Steadily. She's hurt. Shattered. Her fingertips grazing the drought in me Not an inch escaping. Breezily. She's soft. Gentle. She lets go of the pages, only by one Hiding her secret with me. Religiously. She's okay. Alive. I am the flower in her diary. ...

The shallow waters. The burning bridges. The hallowing alleys. The deep wounds. The darkness slipping in. Unbidden. And so it stays. Not lurking, just there. Still. The walls steep high. Brick by brick, I'm still building it up. A castle for my own mind. But it's okay. Because, it's not fleeting, not exhausting. It is a constant. I am used to it. To my distractions. I watch my actions turning into habits, habits into obsessions. Walking towards the sunset. Not basking, just knowing that darkness is a heartbeat away. Into purgatory, I am slipping. "Get over it", they say. "Enough already," they warn. Brushing it off as dirt. But they don't know, do they? The dirt is bending my spine, aching my heart, eating me inside-out. That it's burning, taking and destroying everything it wants, one at a time.

We speak. You hear her voice, not mine. We dance. It's not our song that you hum. We laugh. Your heart doesn't thump like mine. We stay. It's still her presence that lingers. You promise. My heart's flattered. But tamed. It knows that won't be kept. You fall. For her, not me. I'm the parachute. Not the ground. You're lonely. She doesn't answer. But that's okay. I'm here- your second best. Your heart. Dances around hers. It's only the empty spaces I'm let to fill. I am okay. But not enough. Is this what I deserve? A half hearted hello, a grinning goodbye? Is it really? Someone who only loves me for what I give, only loves me to forget. Well, that's not what I wished for. So I'll walk away, one step at a time. I'll plunge into the silence, one answer at a time. Little by little. One promise at a time. Step by step. One dance a...